| some really stressful shit going down.... |
[30 Jul 2004|04:17pm] |
Hey guys! Well I'm sorry about not blogging last night, I ended up going home with my mom, and we had no way of getting back here, so we ended up staying at home last night. It was cool, I got to talk to some friends last night for a bit. I wound up with a gigantic headache, so I went to bed fairly early lol.
So, now I will proceed to tell you what's been up & why I was in the hospital for 5 days. If you don't know what's been going on, read my blog from July 23rd and you'll be up to speed.
Anyways, so on Friday night, my chest was really sore (as well as my throat) and I had an extremely hard time breathing. I'd had this problem with my chest in early June, and it was misdiagnosed by a dumb medical clinic doctor (we know that now lol). She had said that it could be cleared up with Tylenol, which it did. So on Friday night, I was incredibly confused as to why it came back. Then on Saturday morning, it was way worse. I could barely walk ANYWHERE without having to stop cause I was in so much pain. So finally Mom and I went to the medical clinic here, the doctor there did everything the dumb doctor did back in June. Right after listening to my chest and finding out that I was on birth control, he told me to go straight to Emerg and get a chest xray done, he thought I might have blood clots.
So Mom and I hightailed it over to Emerg, where I got the xray done, and then we waited around for 2 hours. Then the doctor came to give me the results. I had mulitple blood clots in my lungs.
After crying uncontrollably for a little bit, a nurse came in and gave me a drug to calm me down. They told me that my condition was totally treatable, that I'd just have to be careful. I was admitted to the hospital, and I received shots of bloodthinners in my stomach twice a day, and I took a pill called Coumadin once a day (I still have to take this pill now, for 6 months to a year). I was monitered closely every day, and I also had to have my blood taken every day. I have so many bruises on my arms and stomach from all the shots, I don't like it lol. At the moment, I will have to get blood tests done every day for a month, and then it will dwindle down to twice a week, then once a week, then it will eventually go down to once a month (I hope lol).
This experience has totally opened my eyes up to so much. I'm going to have to make a lot of changes in my life, it's just so unreal. I'm going to try and write in to magazines (I was thinking Seventeen or something like that) and tell them my story, because I want other girls to know about this. Sure, people read the booklets that come along with birth control pills, but I'm pretty sure lots of people (myself included) think that the rare side effects listed, such as heart attacks, blood clots, and strokes...can't happen to them. I was one of those people, and look at me now. So I really really want to write in, I want to try to warn people about these dangers, because it is real and these things can happen. And God help me, it is scary shit. If you guys have an opinion on my idea, I'd love to hear about it. =)
When I first told my friend Julie that I couldn't take birth control pills for the rest of my life, she thought I meant the particular brand I was using. It's not, it's ANY birth control pill. I found out that because of this condition, I may never be able to have children. Now, being only 19 years old, I was undecided as to whether I wanted kids or not. But now that I know it may never happen (I could die from giving birth), it really sucks and I'm actually rather upset by it. I also have to watch what I do, because if I hit my head or fall down, I could die (I could bleed to death internally). I have to talk to my doctor about everything, whether it be travelling or whatever, they have to know everything I'm doing. I just want to let as many people as possible know about this, cause I don't want them to have to go through what I did. If I didn't get that help, the clots could have spread to my brain, and I wouldn't be here today. It's totally insane.
I'm sorry if this entry is depressing for you guys, but I just wanted to let you guys know what's been going on, and about the stuff I'm going to be dealing with for the rest of my life. Thank you so much for reading this and being so kind. I'll probably blog later, as this is like my diary, and I've had lots on my mind lol. I love you guys<33
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| what a day! |
[23 Jul 2004|03:19pm] |
Hey everyone! *waves like a lunatic* hope all is well in your worlds...it's been one helluva day for me, that's for damn sure.
I woke up at 11:30 this morning, with the WORST charliehorse in my left calf. It was awful. So anyway, I finally couldn't take it anymore, so I got up and walked around, then headed to the bathroom. So I peed (lol) and then went over to the sink cause I was sure I was going to be sick. So I'm standing there, waiting...and then my vision starts to go fuzzy...and then fuzzy & black...so I'm standing there, can't see a goddamn thing.
After about 1 or 2 minutes, it finally passes, although things are still a little blurry. So I decide it's a good time to yell for my mom. So I yell as loud as I possibly could in my state (the fan was on too lol) and then I start to walk towards the door, I open it and then DOWN I GO! I hit the door and the wall at the same time, then I blacked out for a few seconds. I woke up, my mom was standing there, I started bawling.
Now, as some of you know, over the last couple of weeks I have been EXTREMELY worried about being pregnant. It all started a couple of weeks ago, when I got cramps in the morning for 4 days straight. I was also suddenly really tired all the time, craving lots of food, and peeing a lot, which is very unlike me lol. Anyway, so when I felt nauseous this morning, I got REALLY scared. And then when I passed out, it just got worse. So anyway...my mom and I went to the Emergency room, where I told this doctor lady what happened and about the fact that I was scared I might be pregnant. So she puts me in a room, and we were waiting there for quite a while. Then some lady came in and took my blood and then a good while later, a doctor guy came in, asked me a shitload of questions, then did a bunch of shit. He felt my belly to see if I was pregnant lol, that was kinda weird, I felt a little violated lol. Anyway, so then he told me it was unlikely I was pregnant, but they'd check anyway. So he came back like, an hour later, told me EVERYTHING LOOKED FINE, and that I just had to drink/eat a lot today, cause I was most likely just dehydrated. I'M SO HAPPY!! Fuck, you guys, you have no idea how relieved I am. It's awesome. I'm not pregnant, I don't have any icky STDs, god I'm so happy right now I could burst.
So after we got outta there, Mom took me to Mickey D's to get a caramel sundae lol...then we came home. I'm feeling okay now, just really really fucking tired and hot.
Kathy and I had fun last night, we watched like a bazillio Simple Plan vids. Ahh so great. ("Why Simple Plan...? Why not....Doofus?" ahahaha love ya chicky!)
Anyway, I just wanted to let you guys know what's been going on, I'll most likely blog again later cause I'll get bored lol. Oh! I'm so excited, I just might get my money from Julie today, I HOPE! She better not have fucking spent it, I'll be so pissed off. Anyway, I'm going now lol. TTYL guys<33
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[19 Jul 2004|01:36am] |
mood hyper, excited, tired, hot
music the ex by billy talent
hey all you wonderful people. those only a few who actually read this, but whatever. i love those people. i think there's two lol. but anyway...hey guys! *waves like a lunatic* haha.
my day was all right today. i got up late, ate some Golden Grahams, went online and worked my ass off to get my site up. it took for fucking ever. but oh well, it was worth it. then my mom and i went out for a while, we did a lot of driving today. i'm going to try driving either tomorrow or tuesday nigt. fun times! *thumbs up*
so i decided that i'm going to write whatever the hell i want in this journal. i dont care if people get pissed off if i talk about how i'm feeling about whatever. if i need to get it out, i need to get it out. anyone who doesn't like what i'm writing, don't read it. simple as that lol.
i'm also thinking of posting some of my songs on my website. what do you guys think i should do? cause i totally don't know. *stares off into space*
so we had a fucking earthquake here at like 1am or so. i felt & saw the desk shaking, and i thought i was just hitting it with the chair, but then it happened again...and i wasnt touching ANYTHING. it was fucking freaky. i told my friend that i felt the desk move, and she was like "so did i". the quake came in at 6.1 magnitude...fucking scary shit right there. another weird thing is that i've had the hugest headache since it happened. weird.
so i was on msn tonight and this guy i know asked if i wanted to do his website, i'm uberly excited. his band fucking rocks (they kinda sound like simple plan, who happens to be my fave band, so i'm happy lol). i'm excited to do their site. should be fun freaking times. they like a lot of the same music i do, so it should be fun hanging with them. i just hope they like the stuff i make. i dont think i'm getting paid, but i really dont care, cause they can just tell people about my work. it'll be good.
i love ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) starry__angel. nuff said. *giggles*
okay, i'm going now. i'm going to go write out some content for my site before i fall asleep on the keyboard. good night guys<33
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[17 Jul 2004|09:03pm] |
heylo everyone! *waves*
well i wound up staying up until around 4am, talking to killpaige. she is so fucking awesome, as i've mentioned in my other 2 entries.
my mom came in and woke me up at 9:55am (i wanted to kill her lol) and we drove into town, went to the mall. i found hoobastank's cd and billy talent's cd, for really fucking cheap. so i conned my mom into getting one of them for me..god i love her lol. then i FINALLY found some PINK flip flops!! i just about jumped for joy! it was sooo rad. i've been waiting to find some flip flops forever (i haven't had any money lol). so that was awesome.
then we had to go to thrifty's to get some groceries and i saw the most ADORABLE guy working there. there was definitely some checking out done between the 2 of us lol..*giggles*...so i told my mom that we'll have to go back there before we go back home...i want to see him again lol.
after going there and getting some lunch @ mickey d's, we headed home (well, where we're staying) and then i tried to install greymatter for my site. yeah that went well...NOT. fuck. soo annoying. oh well.
starry__angel is soo cool. i added her to my lj and my msn, we started talking tonight. she loves them too. i told her about my warped tour experience...fun times...NOT. well, i did get chuck's autograph, and i did see them play for about 10 minutes, so that was cool. but the day itself was kinda....not what i expected. i'll leave it at that lol.
killpaige and i are swiping up random names @ egojournal.com. it's fun freaking times. kate and i are also chatting right now, we're gonna go pick fights in a chat room. sad, but incredibly fun! muwhahaha.
fuck my neck is KILLING me. *sigh*
you guys don't know about us or anything, but i'm sad that i haven't talked to keith in like 2 weeks. i kinda wanna call him, but then again i kinda don't want to.
i hate it, cause i knew this was going to be a casual thing going into it, but stupid me, i couldn't keep my feelings in check. i hate it. i hate not knowing what he wants. i hate knowing that his ex-girlfriend is obsessed with him and still tries to control him. i hate how i'm starting to like him A LOT. blah.
anyway, i'm going to stop bitching and complaining now. thanks for reading guys<33
ps i'm UBERLY excited for SNL tonigt. i don't know who's on it, but fuck i love that show! ok bye =)
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[17 Jul 2004|03:46am] |
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damn killpaige. she made me want one of these. blargh. i'm so hungry. i'm kinda sleepy but i totally don't want to go to bed, i'm just not in the mood. anyway, i'm going to go talk to her more and drool over the chocolate. ta ta<33
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[17 Jul 2004|02:33am] |
heylo! well killpaige gave me the oh-so brilliant idea of starting a livejournal. i had one before, but forgot the info and such...so i figured that since i still have to set up my site, i'd use this to blog and shit until it's up.
i miss having the internet. i've been online so much tonight, it's not even funny lol. but it's all good, i talked to kate a bunch, also ali. it was fun times. and i also met killpaige. she is fucking awesome, i'm so glad i emailed her and got her msn addy. she fucking cracks me up like there is no tomorrow lol. it was weird, we just started talking like crazy, it was so rad.
but anyway, i know this is short and stuff, but i'm gonna go try and think up some new content and shit for my site, then possibly write more on here...or go to sleep...nah...ok i'm going for now. ttyl<3
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